There Ain't Half Been Some Clever Bastards

Noel Coward was a charmer
As a writer he was Brahma
Velvet, jackets and pajamas
The gay divorcee and other dramasThere ain't half been some clever bastards
(Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders)
There ain't half been some clever bas-tardsVan Gogh did some eyeball pleasers
He must have been a pencil squeezer
He didn't do the Mona Lisa
That was an Italian geezerThere ain't half been some clever bastards
(Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders)
There ain't half been some clever bas-tardsEinstein can't be classed as witless
He claimed atoms were the littlest
When you did a bit of splitting-em-ness
Frighten everybody shitlessThere ain't half been some clever bastards
Probably got help from their mum
(Who had help from her mum)There ain't half been some clever bastards
Now that we've had some
Let's hope that there's lots more to comeThere ain't half been some clever bastards
(Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders)
There ain't half been some clever bas-tardsOkey-dokey
Oh, Segovia
Da-laa la-laa da-daa da-lee
De dump di dump de dump-dump-diddle li-leeThere ain't half been some clever bastards
(Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders)
There ain't half been some clever bastards
(Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders)There ain't half been some clever bastards
(Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders)
There ain't half been some clever bastards