Dear Abby

Dear abby, dear abby ...

My feet are too long

My hairs falling out and my rights are all wrong

My friends they all tell me that Ive no friends at all

Wont you write me a letter, wont you give me a call

Signed bewildered

Bewildered, bewildered...

Chorus:

You have no complaint

You are what your are and you aint what you aint

So listen up buster, and listen up good

Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood

Dear abby, dear abby...

My fountain pen leaks

My wife hollers at me and my kids are all freaks

Every side I get up on is the wrong side of bed

If it werent so expensive Id wish I were dead

Signed unhappy

Unhappy, unhappy...

Repeat chorus

Dear abby, dear abby...

You wont believe this

But my stomach makes noises whenever I kiss

My girlfriend tells me its all in my head

But my stomach tells me to write you instead

Signed noise-maker

Noise-maker, noise-maker

Repeat chorus

Dear abby, dear abby...

Well I never thought

That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught

We were sitting in the back seat just shooting the breeze

With her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees

Signed just married

Just married, just married...

Repeat chorus